Apart from financial stress, legal complications, career set backs, social stigma and emotional problems, divorce causes a host of other problems in people’s lives. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = \"urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office\" />

Though everyone has their own situation and their own problems, a few general suggestions can be made. This is to help one assess a situation, rather than offer ready made solutions that don’t apply.

Is Divorce on the Cards?

Those who are worst hit are people caught unawares by divorce. So the first thing you need to do is ascertain whether the divorce is happening at all. If you are the one getting ready to file for it, ask yourself several times whether you really want it. A divorce is very serious step and you must be certain that you want to change your entire life before going for it. In the eyes of law, the two of you are one entity socially and financially. A divorce would complicate matters considerably. Unlike marriage, divorce does not automatically change everything. There are certain changes that you need to make such as prepare a new will, change bank accounts, change the way bills are disbursed and managed etc. Property details need to be chalked out and divided as well. If you have children, matters would be most complicated.

On the other hand, if you feel that your partner is about to serve you the divorce papers, you must start preparing well in advance so that you can answer the papers correctly, and have your side of the proceedings ready. There are certain precautions that you may take in either situation, so that drastic and damaging decisions are avoided. Some such precautions have been given in the following.

Making Legal and Financial Moves

Let us first see the possible legal moves one may take as a precaution:

·          If you are planning to go for a DIY divorce, start reading up on the process from the net. You can also make a survey of the companies that offer such services and decide which one you want to choose. The forms for divorce are available free of cost with all local courts of the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = \"urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags\" />UK. You can pick them up and go through them. Sample forms can be seen on the net again.

·          If you want to take the help of a lawyer, this is the best time to approach some one. If you feel that things could become worse at home if you told your spouse you are visiting a lawyer, do not reveal it. There is nothing wrong in being prepared, and you should not feel guilty for this, though that is quite common in such cases. This is the time when you would get to know how reliable your legal help is.

·          This is the correct time to make all the arrangements for filing for maintenance. You can make estimates on how much you would require, what you want to do with the property and how you want the assets divided. If you have children, this period of preparation is absolutely essential. Child maintenance is a touchy issue, and you need time to come to a decision on it.

·          A divorce usually entails making of a new will. Apart from that, you would also have to divide your personal possessions such as the car, computer, music system, television, furniture, gifts etc among yourselves. An inordinate amount of time is wasted in some cases over details such as who will keep the family bike, whether the car should be sold etc. These issues should actually be worked out before the process of divorce is started.

Other Preparations

There are a host of other factors that you need to take care of before starting your new life:

·          Apart from maintenance, child custody and visitation details should be thrashed out in full detail during the preparatory period. If it is a divorce with consent, this is a great opportunity for both of you to sort out things between yourselves.

·          Plan your career moves, your new home, where the children should study. All this may seem unimportant at the heat of the moment, but would save you a life time of nagging problems.

·          Brace yourself emotionally for the separation and the new life ahead. Your marriage may be over, but the world has not stopped spinning, and you still have a long way to go.